Get the Funk out Ma Face (010)

The writing week from hell is coming to a close. No progress on the PT script finds me nearly twenty pages behind schedule. It’s not for lack of effort. I can only hope that all the trying and failing this week will lead to some sort of breakthrough in the near future. On the plus side, I think I may have isolated one of the triggers to my writing funk. Identifying my triggers might help me get out of this funk and avoid the next one.

So, I’m pretty sure the recent catalysts for my writing lulls have been pitch meetings. I seem to be going into the funk directly after a big meeting. Tom Petty once professed, “The waiting is the hardest part.” I’m fairly sure this was in reference to pitching screenplays. There’s nothing as frustrating as waiting to know how things are going to play out after a meeting. I’m putting everything on the line writing these scripts on spec and my entire future rests in the hands (and wallets) of the folks with the money.

I’m helpless as I wait to hear the verdict. For someone as reluctant to relinquish control as myself, this is particularly trying. I pretend it doesn’t faze me. I tell myself that no matter what the moneymen decide about my project, my life isn’t going to change. In a way, this is true. If I sell or option a script tomorrow, I won’t run out and buy a new car. I won’t be able to afford a house. I won’t even buy a new HDTV. For the most part, life will go on as normal.

If I say that my life won’t change at all, I’d be lying. Relieving a little of the financial pressure would be nice. Also, selling a script would most likely aid me in finding an agent, and subsequently more writing projects. However, there will be a subtle change that will affect me more profoundly. Sometimes I want so bad to succeed that I feel everything I write needs to be brilliant. As a result, my writing suffers. If I sold just one script and felt that small measure of success, I think I would finally feel like I have a little breathing room to make mistakes. I’m not sure why that weight feels so heavy, but I can visualize it being lifted off and it feels really fucking good.

Now that I can attribute at least a portion of my writing funk to “the waiting,” I’m hoping that I can step out of it. That being said, I know there are more things I can be doing to get out and stay out of a funk. Basically, I need to get into writing shape. I’m a better basketball player when I train and stick to a regimen, and I’m a big fan of sports analogies, so it would only make sense if the same were true for my writing.


I’m going to start off by fine-tuning my routine. I got so caught up creating a broad writing schedule that I overlooked the daily schedule. For starters, I need get my ass out of bed bright and early. Sleeping until 10AM cannot be an option. From now on, 8AM is the latest I should ever be waking up during a weekday. People with real jobs do this all the time. Writing is my real job, so I can’t make exceptions. Waking up at 8AM or earlier should give me plenty of time to eat breakfast, shower, and check up on any breaking news before starting my writing at 9AM. Lunch break will be one hour, same time everyday. I’ll stop writing at a decent time in order to enjoy life and ensure that I do not burn out. I’m thinking 5PM, just in time to feed and walk the dogs.

Facebook, email, and even blogging will need to take a back seat if I’m serious about funk prevention. I’m embarrassed to admit that I am compelled to check my facebook news feed constantly throughout the day. At this very moment I am fighting the urge to open a new tab and see what amusing quips my friends (and friends of friends) have added to their wall. Full disclosure: I couldn’t resist. I checked. A comment about the film “Funny People,” a picture of a heart in a watermelon, and five unfortunate hornet stings were among the highlights. I don’t really know why I check my email so often. It is mostly junk mail. Did you know that igourmet.com is having their biggest sale of the year on cheese? It ends on Monday night so place your order immediately (not kidding… their cheese is actually pretty good). I’m thinking about implementing a reward system. If I write for a half hour straight, I can check email for five minutes. Facebook, however, needs to wait for lunch.

A sharp body equals a sharp mind. I don’t actually know if that is true, but I’m going with it. This is why I must include time for exercise as part of my “no funk” plan. I’ll either need to wake up early to exercise or exercise after 5PM. I could possibly exercise during an extended lunch break and push my writing schedule back one hour.

Spending some time outside of my apartment will also be key to keeping me in good writing spirits. I'm thinking part of my writing day should be spent at the oft dreaded coffee shop or the local public library. Either a 9AM - 12:30PM shift or a 1:30PM - 5PM shift. Going somewhere during the day will make me feel like I have a purpose and it will force me to get dressed for at least a few hours.

Personal hygiene is part of my funk prevention plan. You might think this goes without saying, but often times one can forget how refreshing a shower can be. I’ve also decided that I need to stop using the “writer’s beard” excuse. I’ve been telling people that I need to grow this wretched beard because it makes me look older and therefore I’m taken more seriously in the pitch room. It might make me look older, but it makes me feel like a bum. Seriously, it’s getting out of hand. I was on the way back from the dry cleaners yesterday and the homeless man that always hounds me for change didn’t bother asking me for money. Instead, he just looked up at me and gave me this pathetic, sympathetic nod, as if to say, “hang on buddy, things will get better.” "Look good, feel good" is going to be my new mantra. I think I might even get a haircut after I cash my last unemployment check.

If I can apply all these new strategies, I should hopefully be able to move forward and get back on track with my writing. Maybe more importantly, it should help me be a more pleasant person to be around. Separating my writing from the rest of my life has been a difficult challenge thus far. It really isn’t a “leave your work at the office” type of profession. I look forward to finding the right balance.